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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  December 17, 2015 12:37am-1:37am EST

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[ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- quentin tarantino. comedians nick kroll and john mulaney. from off-broadway's "oh, hello" gil faizon and george st. geegland. music from moon taxi. featuring the 8g band with ilan rubin. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, th meyers! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doin' tonight? [ cheers and applause ] very, very good to hear. let's get to the news. last night's republican debate focused on the scenes of terrorism and foreign policy, and it's a good thing, too, because during the debate i spotted nine people who have
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isis. [ laughter ] >> seth: the budding rivalry between senator ted cruz and marco rubio was one of the major story lines from last night's debate. cruz and rubio, or as they're also known, before and after. [ laughter ] donald trump said last night that despite calling ted cruz a maniac, he has since learned that cruz has a wonderful temperament. and if donald trump thinks you have a wonderful temperament, you're probably a maniac. [ laughter ] full circle on that. jeb bush reprimanded donald trump last night and said, you are not going to be able to insult your way to the presidency. but on the other hand -- they're rapists. he's not a war hero. you got to see this guy. oh, i don't know what i said. i don't remember. [ laughter ] losers, losers, losers. total, incompetent jerk.
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he's a total lightweight. >> seth: there you go. numbers don't lie. [ applause ] numbers don't lie. ted cruz joked during last night's debate that all horse thieves are democrats, but not all democrats are horse thieves. cruz is trying to appeal to that crucial group of voters, people whose horses have been stolen. [ laughter ] following last nights republican debate, democratic candidate bernie sanders tweeted that the republicans are out of touch. or at least he thought he tweeted it. [ laughter ] i haven't got any retweets yet! did they mail them to me? according to a new poll, newark liberty is the country's least favorite airport, but only because la guardia is technically classified as a prison.
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[ applause ] barbara walters reportedly told bradley cooper in a new interview that she finds him very screwable, making this the 89th consecutive interview in which barbara walters made someone cry. [ laughter ] that's right, barbara walters called bradley cooper very screwable. incidentally, very screwable is the single hardest phrase for barbara walters to pronounce. very screwable. [ light laughter ] i'm what? i'm sorry, i can't hear you, it sounds like you're saying i'm very screwable, which is super weird. i don't know. a virginia man has been charged with stealing nearly $22,000 worth of five-hour energy drinks from a grocery warehouse. police knew he did it because he led them on a high-speed chase even though he was walking. [ laughter ] the national zoo in washington today held the first official
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panda cub bei-bei. and this may not be politically correct, but there's nothing cuter than a baby who's half black and half white. [ laughter ] i'm talking about pandas. can we not talk about pandas anymore? and finally, a london architect has come up with a concept for a floating hotel that is self-sustaining and could potentially move around the world. so congratulations, architect, you just invented the cruise ship. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have what can only described as a great show for you tonight. he is the writer and director of the new film "the hateful eight." the wonderful quentin tarantino is in the house tonight. [ cheers and applause ] also, very excited about this, two fantastic actors they are stars of the off-broadway show "oh hello," the wonderful gil faizon and george st. geegland are here tonight.
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and they're just wonderful. and we'll also have music from moon taxi. they're a great, great band. and as a reminder, tomorrow we'll have the full cast of the new film "sisters." that's amy poehler. that's tina fey. maya rudolph. rachel dratch. ike barinholtz. and paula pell, who wrote the film. so, that will be a really fun show. please tune in tomorrow. now, as we mentioned, last night cnn hosted what was somewhere between the fourth and ninth republican debate live from las vegas. for more on this, it's time for "debate wrap up." >> seth: in the run-up to this debate, the media promised us one thing in particular and that was a high noon standoff between ted cruz, the texas senator who's been surging in the polls, and frontrunner anti-muslim traffic cone donald trump. [ light laughter ] >> ted cruz versus front runner donald trump. >> a showdown looming between donald trump and ted cruz.
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ted cruz. >> donald trump remains front and center flanked by his newest closest rival ted cruz. >> trump and cruz going after each other, trump calling cruz a maniac. >> seth: that's right, trump called cruz a maniac and that was before the debate even started. so, all cnn had to do was watch tee up trump and watch him rip cruz to shreds, donald trump style. here we go! cnn, let's see some fireworks. >> mr. trump, just this weekend you said senator cruz is not qualified to be president because he doesn't have the right temperament and acted like a maniac when he arrived in the senate, but last month you said you were opening -- open to naming senator cruz as your running mate. >> i did. >> so why would you be willing to put somebody who's a maniac one heartbeat away from the presidency? >> but, i've gotten to know him over the last three or four days. he has a wonderful temperament. he's just fine. don't worry about it. >> okay. >> seth: what? [ laughter ] why did trump turn down an opportunity to attack someone? when he was backstage, did he accidentally drink some of
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[ light laughter ] in general, the donald seemed to be in a much more subdued mood than usual. he even had nice things to say about ben carson. >> and by the way, and ben said correctly, and i'm not saying this as a knock, 'cause he's one of the finest men. you're not gonna find a finer man. >> seth: and it's true, you're not gonna meet a finer man than ben carson. i mean, what kind of monster would impute ben carson's integrity? >> when he says he went after his mother and wanted to hit her in the head with a hammer, that bothers me. i mean, that's pretty bad. he's got a pathological temper or temperament. that's a big problem, because you don't cure that. that's like, you know, i could say they say you don't cure, as >> seth: i never called you a child molester, ben. i simply used a child molester as an example to show how you think and behave. so the trump-cruz fight didn't happen and the trump-carson fight didn't happen. were there going to be any
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who dares to take on donald trump? >> seth: that's right, it was time for trump's favorite punching bag, jeb, exclamation point, bush. but this time jeb was ready for trump and he was not going to stop until he knocked him out. >> this is a tough business to run for president. >> oh, you're a tough guy, jeb. i know. [ laughter ] >> and we need to have a leader that is real tough. >> real tough. >> you're never gonna be president of the united states -- >> you're real tough jeb. yeah. >> by insulting your way to the presidency. >> well, let's see, i'm at 42 and you're at 3, so so far i'm doing better. >> doesn't matter. doesn't matter. >> so far i'm doing better. you know, you started off over here, jeb, you're moving over further and further. pretty soon you're gonna be off the end. >> seth: oh, man. watching jeb try to take on donald in the debate is like watching youtube videos of 15 second mma fights. [ light laughter ] at one point jeb was so desperate, he tried to steal trump's face.
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with the jeb and trump feuds out of the way, terrorism took center stage as the main topic in the debate, and candidates were relentless in their attacks on president obama's isis strategy. in fact, the republicans proposed a novel new strategy that is guaranteed to end terrorism as we know it. >> we will utterly destroy isis. >> destroy isis before it destroys us. >> we need to go and destroy isis. >> we have to destroy their caliphate. >> our strategy is simple. we win, they lose. >> seth: oh, i bet -- i bet things are pretty tense at isis headquarters last night. slow down, what did he say the plan was? they win and we lose. oh, man, oh, man, oh, man. this is bad. [ laughter ] this is bad if that is their plan, 'cause that is a very good plan. [ light laughter ] but that wasn't even the worst proposal when it came to fighting isis. once again, donald trump found a way to sink even lower than the rest of the field by proposing that the u.s. actively targets the families of suspected terrorists.
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with families. and frankly that will people think. because they may not care much about their lives, but they do care, believe it or not, about their family's lives. >> seth: that's right, trump wants to target the families of his enemies. where have i heard that policy before? >> i want you to find this nancy-boy eliot ness. i want him dead! i want his family dead. i want his house burned to the ground. >> seth: that's al capone, u.s. foreign policy adviser. [ laughter ] in the end the candidates didn't present any new plans for fighting terrorism, they were not much different than what president obama's already doing, and the few things that were different were not that great. in fact, i'm guessing most people watching at home had expressions something like this. [ light laughter ] this has been "debate wrap up." [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with
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energy lives here. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. give it up for the 8g band! [ cheers and applause ] thank you guys for being here. also, sitting in with the 8g band all this week on drums, from nine inch nails, ilan rubin. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here, ilan. >> thank you very much. >> seth: and be sure to check out the latest release from ilan's band, the new regime.
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out now. we really appreciate, ilan. >> thanks so much. [ applause ] >> seth: so happy you're here. our first guest tonight is an oscar-winning screenwriter and director of such iconic films as "reservoir dogs", "pulp fiction", and "inglourious basterds." his latest film, "the hateful eight", opens in limited release on christmas day and wide on december 31st. let's take a look. >> one of them fellas is not what he says he is. >> what is he? >> in cahoots with this one, that's what he is. one of 'em, maybe even two of 'em is here to see domergue goes free. >> are you sure you ain't just bein' paranoid? >> our best bet is this duplicitous fella ain't as cool a customer as daisy here. he won't have the leather patience it takes to just sit here. he can't handle it. he'll stop waitin'. try and create his opportunity and that's when mr. jumpy reveals himself. >> seth: please welcome to the
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: how are you? >> very good! >> seth: i am so excited to have you here. >> i'm so happy to be here. i'm big fan of this show. >> seth: i'm a big fan of yours. i was in film school -- i was studying film in 1992, when "reservoir dogs" came out. and that meant that everybody else in my class, what we did for four years, was we made terrible knock-off "reservoir dogs" films. that. >> seth: yeah, just absolutely -- we took your fine work and just made it so mediocre. >> no, no. i hope they were wearing black suits -- >> seth: we did that. we did that. >> drew guns on each other. obviously, you love film. and this, one of the incredible things about this, is it's shot on 70-millimeter film. was it hard -- obviously, the movie has an intermission. it's obviously of a bygone era. >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: is it a tough sell to a studio when you want to do a movie this way? >> no.
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was i knew that i wanted to shoot in 70-millimeter, because one of the things about it is -- look, most of the people are not going to see it that way. most of the planet earth is gonna it in d.c.p. and in multiplexes, and that's okay. i like that version too. but i'm a big proponent of film projection and not just digital projection. and i knew that -- to me, i've worked a long time -- just to me working to diminishing results. so, what i wanted to do is i wanted to make sure we'd get some serious film projection out there. if you shoot it in 70-millimeter and the studio has to pay that kind of money, then they're going to make an attempt to get it shown that way. so the way i kind of made clear that that was where i was coming from, was on every fourth paragraph, at least for the whole first five pages of the script -- so, like the first paragraph of the script is a stagecoach pulled by six horses
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landscape, blistering cold, filmed in glorious 70-millimeter! [ laughter ] the horses' hooves bust through the snow, kicking up slush and dirt, filmed in glorious 70-millimeter! so, you made it very clear what you were selling. >> yeah. the movie read it, "okay, i guess we're doing it in 70-millimeter or we ain't doing >> seth: you, also, i want to ask you about this, because kurt russell was here yesterday >> big jerry. >> seth: how long has big jerry been on set? >> he's one of my favorite crew members. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> and uh -- get it? [ light laughter ] >> seth: they're about to. >> they're about to get it. it starred in "jackie brown." >> seth: okay. >> "jackie brown" was the first time we used him. and basically what happens is from time to time you're working on a movie, and crew members get tired, and they take a nap or they fall asleep. it just happens. well, you kind of want to discourage that. >> seth: yes. >> so the way i figured out how to discourage that is i bought a
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[ light laughter ] it's purple and it's about this big. >> seth: gotcha. >> so if somebody like -- you know, falls asleep, now all of a sudden you're not mad when they fall asleep. you want them to fall asleep. and so it's, "hey, freddie's asleep! freddie's falling asleep! get big jerry, get big jerry!" and then you get the dildo and you come in and you put it right by his face -- [ laughter ] and then you take a photo. >> seth: got it. >> now, the thing about it was, in the '90s when we started it, we would do it with a polaroid. >> seth: okay. >> so you come up with a big polaroid camera and you press the button -- flash! and the thing would come out and it would wake up everybody. "oh, man, you guys are messed up, man! [ laughter ] that's no good!" and then you'd take the photo and you put it on the wall of shame. >> seth: yes. >> however, as much as i'm not a proponent of digital, digital cameras, when it comes to taking big jerry photos, kind of work out pretty good. because they make no noise.
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>> so if you can be quiet, you can actually get quite a few shots of big jerry. [ laughter ] >> seth: right. you can paint a -- you can tell a story, basically. >> absolutely. and so i've got brad pitt with big jerry -- >> seth: oh, that's fantastic. >> i've got daryl hannah with big jerry -- >> seth: i like that big jerry is living this like "forrest gump" life, where he's met everybody. [ laughter ] >> absolutely. that's exactly it. [ applause ] >> seth: i read a profile on you once, where it talked about the first screenplay you wrote. so how old are you? like, 12, 13? >> yeah, 12, yeah. >> seth: and this is -- i'm sorry, i'm got gonna get it right, "captain peachfuzz and the anchovy" -- >> "bandit", yes! >> seth: "the anchovy bandit." >> "captain peachfuzz and the anchovy bandit." >> seth: okay. >> what ended up happening with that is, it was 1977 and i went to the movies theaters and i saw "smokey and the bandit." >> seth: right. >> and i thought it was really, really terrific. and i came home and i was so taken with it and was so inspired that i sat down to write my very first screenplay. >> seth: okay. >> and it was called "captain peachfuzz and the anchovy bandit." and it was about a guy who robs
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>> seth: gotcha. i'm gonna guess that's the -- >> he's the anchovy bandit. he's the anchovy bandit. and he's robbing them throughout the south. and we was becoming a bit of a folkloric hero and all the big-bellied sheriffs were trying to get him and everything. and then there was a girl in it, and her cb handle -- because remember, cbs were big back then -- >> seth: big deal. >> was captain peachfuzz. and the whole thing about it was, her dad was this huge cal worthington kind of guy, who had car dealerships all over the south. he did all these wacky commercials and was really famous and really rich. and so, they got together, they hooked up, and they started robbing pizza parlors all around the south. but the father acted like she was being kidnapped. so all the cops in the south were looking for them and there was the big car chases and big stuff. now, i just described this entire story. i think i maybe wrote ten pages before i got bored and moved on to something else. but that was the idea of the story. >> seth: that's great. and that's really nice. it's always nice to be able to remember the first thing -- >> oddly enough, as i'm
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not a bad story. >> seth: it's not terrible. it's certainly better in your hands. >> for a 12-year-old that wasn't so bad. >> seth: and would you write it out longhand? >> oh, yeah. i still -- >> seth: you still do, right? >> i still write my scripts longhand. >> seth: why -- what is the -- what is your argument for why you do it? is it helpful? does it make you more creative when you write out longhand? >> you can't write poetry on a computer. >> seth: i guess that's true. >> that's kind of where i'm coming from on it. >> seth: i think robert frost had a computer. i'm almost certain he did. [ light laughter ] >> but there also is something else though about it. and to me it's kind of part of the process that really gets me is -- i might have a few different ideas popping around, and eventually at some point, i sit down with a piece of paper and a pen, and i start kind of writing what i think could be possibly the first scene. and i write it and maybe i write a second scene. and maybe i do something with it, maybe i don't, maybe i put it away. but at some point, usually within the first scene or second scene, the hooks get in me and i realize, oh, this is what i'm going to do now. this is what i'm going to do for
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>> seth: so it's that early that you know. >> yeah, usually, pretty much. that's kind of why my first scenes are always kind of a big deal, because i'm almost talking myself into the movie. i don't know if i would have the patience to have a long build that didn't have a scene that really got me going right away. it's kind of almost for me as much as the audience. i think part of that was due to the fact that when i first started writing scripts, the hardest thing about writing scripts isn't writing them, it's actually getting somebody to read them. >> seth: uh-huh. >> so, i figured i had to grab whatever industry reader who was i had to grab him right away. i had to grab him from the first page. so from time to time, when i would give my script to somebody -- i don't like reading scripts right now, so i get it. i go, "look, just read the first two pages. if you don't like the first two pages, throw it in the trash. give me the first two pages to try to grab you." that's kind of where i've always been kind of coming from. but the other thing that's also really kind of cool, take something like "the hateful eight" right now. i'm doing all my press on it and
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you know, i'm done with it, and i'm real proud of it and i'm going all around the world. literally, i can go back to just about two and a half years ago, and there was a time where this didn't exist at all. and it was just a bunch of blank pieces of paper sitting on a desk and me with a red felt pen and a black felt pen, and i wrote "exterior -- snowy mountain." and that was the beginning of the whole thing. >> seth: well, that is very inspiring for anybody staring at blank paper. [ applause ] >> yeah, right. >> seth: thank you so much for being here. quentin tarantino, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> my pleasure. >> seth: "the hateful eight" opens in limited release on christmas day and wide on december 31st. we'll be right back with gil faizon and george st. geegland. [ cheers and applause ] [ dog barks ] [ bark ] there it is! [ gasps ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guests are currently staring in the play "oh hello" on off broadway. at the cherry lane theatre now through december 20th. please welcome to the show
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george st. geegland. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: hey, gil and george, so happy to have you guys here. >> both: hello, seth, how are you? >> how are you? >> seth: i'm very good. i'm very good. >> you see what we got -- [ talking over each other ] >> seth: our backstage gift -- >> we stole them out of quentin tarantino's garbage. >> seth: oh, come on. i don't believe you threw them >> nah, come on. where's quentin? >> seth: no, he took off, yeah. >> he didn't slide down for gil and george? >> seth: no. >> we're all important artists. >> seth: yeah, sure, sure. >> yeah, we like to joke that we're the original reservoir
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how's that? >> well we go to the central park reservoir. and we would just bark when tens would jog by. [ laughter ] >> yeah, like brunettes. >> or blonds. >> seth: i know all the hair colors. [ laughter ] do you have a favorite quentin tarantino film? >> should i look right at the camera? >> seth: no, you don't have to. just have a normal -- have a normal conversation. >> yeah, "get shorty." >> seth: i don't think that is quentin -- >> you know john travolta and the whole era is the same. >> seth: it's the same era. it's it's the same era. i want to congratulate you guys on your play. >> oh, thank you. thank you. >> seth: it's going so well. sold out. >> it's really going well. >> seth: and it got a really nice review by ben brantley in the "new york times." >> ben brantley in the "new york times" reviewed it. >> seth: that must have been exciting. >> ben likes us. >> you know, we're critical darlings of ben. [ laughter ] you know, it's been -- it's been really cool, but now we're doing with the bicklash. >> seth: yeah, it's, i'm sorry --
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>> seth: the backlash. >> yeah. >> you know when you're a big deal? >> seth: yeah? you know when you're really cruising hot? with the high fiving tens? >> seth: now how is -- >> you know like it's in cruise. >> seth: uh huh, sure. >> yeah, yeah. that famous moment. >> seth: sure, that's the oprah couch. that's your memory of how tom cruise looks on oprah? >> yeah. >> like a little raccoon sitting on a couch. >> seth: gotcha, so how has the bicklash sort of manifested itself? >> well, i don't know if you're familiar with the rags in the city. like "the new yorker." >> seth: oh right, now. >> we've been slammed in "the new yorker" this week. >> seth: this is a new yorker cartoon in this issue. and that's very clearly you guys. >> well, that's what we think. >> seth: and then on the bottom it says, "you guys remind me of my uncle. he was a loser." >> yeah, and that's really mean-spirited. >> i think that was about us. that was matt diffee who said, you know, a cartoonist for "the new yorker."
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understand that part. >> it's definitely -- look, it's [ bleep ] fired. it's a direct shot at us. and there's been [ bleep ] fired and so -- we're in a long, contentious relationship with "the new yorker" because we used to steal it from our homeopathic vet's waiting room. and you know that ad for the beret? they have an ad for a beret. and i used to buy that beret every week. and then i stopped and they went bankrupt in new york. [ laughter ] >> seth: again, i guess my biggest question is, what made you guys decide to do a play? >> thank you. >> thank you for that, asking the follow-up question. [ laughter ] you know, we love the theater. [ talking over each other ] >> we love the theatre. you know, it's such a wonderful thing. it's a lot like films, but the beauty of theater is there are no stakes and no endings.
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>> theater is the hot new thing right now. there is "hamilton" and no other [ laughter ] [ applause ] so we're getting right in there. >> seth: very good. now, george, you are a writer. >> yes, thank you. >> seth: gil, you -- don't look directly at it. [ laughter ] and so you're, gil, you're an actor. [ laughter ] >> look at that face. that's a $100 face right there. >> seth: so i guess my question would be, your writing background, your acting background, is there anything we maybe would know you for? >> sure, sure, i'm an important writer and an important person. and people know me, i'm george st. geegland. i've been compared to philip ross. i've also been compared to several sketches of the "riverside park flasher." [ laughter ] and i'm working on a new novel now. it's called "next stop, ronkonkoma." [ laughter ] it's the story of lirr trip told from a hundred different
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[ laughter ] >> seth: beautiful. >> it's my muse. my muse. >> oh, hello, charmed, i'm sure, i'm gil faizon. thank you. you know, i am a tony award-viewing actor. i was kiss member in the 1981 season of "saturday night live." >> seth: oh, okay. yeah, i don't remember that. >> it was me, the feature plays with me and a big bag of cocaine wearing some glasses. what else did i do? >> your shopping is real hot. >> i'm shopping in new movie that i'm starring in, an action vehicle about a secret agent who is trying to save his family. it's called "how dare you steal my daughter!" >> can we eat treats? >> seth: sure. if you need to. >> i brought a swedish fish, the cadillac of the gummies.
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caramel. >> seth: you guys have been -- am i correct in this? you guys roommates for a very long time? >> a long time. >> seth: how did you two meet? >> well, that's a very good question. thank you. >> seth: you don't have to tell me that they're all good questions. >> another home run. [ laughter ] >> seth meyers, we live on the upper west side of manhattan, which is a nice area. >> yeah. >> but we met years ago. >> in the 60's. >> this is a different time. >> this is a rarely discussed decade. [ laughter ] i was at columbia university. >> seth: uh huh. >> as a trespasser. [ laughter ] and, you know? this is the '60s seth, this was vietnam, the draft. literally there was no caulking in my window so there's always this cool breeze coming in. >> i was at columbia, part of
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movement, and we were calling for an end to the vietnam war, and it worked. the war ended only eight years later in total chaos. [ laughter ] we really did a good job. but one day i was walking through the quad. >> and one day i was walking through the quad. [ laughter ] >> both: and i see this really cool dude. [ laughter ] >> he said hello. >> he said hello and we've been roommates ever since. >> seth: wow, now obviously you had a very political background in the '60s. >> sure. >> seth: are you following the election now? >> very much so. [ laughter ] you can have that. >> seth: why would you bring a candy you don't like? >> i don't know. for effect. [ laughter ] >> you're drinking from it. now you got werther'coffee and you're drinking from it? [ laughter ] >> seth: are you just trying to flavor -- >> i want caramel flavored
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wrong. >> i'm a baby. and i'm an unlicensed dueler. [ laughter ] >> we are so political. you know, a lot of you probably try to guess our politics, you know. >> people look at us and they go, "oh they probably support bernard." >> why would we vote for bernard? what do you mean, bernard? >> you guys know him as bernie sanders. our dear old friend bernard. >> seth: why don't you know him as bernie? >> bernard is running for president. >> bernard is running? [ laughter ] the president of what, the [ laughter ] >> no, he's running for president of the united states. >> bernard? [ laughter ] >> our bernard? why don't you just vote for him? >> oh, hello. [ laughter ] >> we go back with bernard. bernie sanders to our days in we were known as political extra we were known as the burlington
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>> and we were responsible for the bombing of the original burlington coat factory. [ laughter ] i still deal with him because i'm very involved in the occupy walgreen's movement. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, okay. >> i hate the 1%. i love whole milk. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh boy. >> i'm sick of these right wingers though. let me say something that no one would say. >> seth: please do. >> i'm sick of these right wingers. and the only one i would vote for is ted cruz. i like him because his face looks like the whole movie "dick tracy" pushed together. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> seth: you guys, it has been so wonderful having you here. congratulations on the play. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: gil faizon. >> can we take the mug? >> seth: yeah, of course. and george st. geegland, everybody. "oh hello" is playing in the cherry lane theatre now through december 20th. we'll be right back with more "late night."
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we give you relief from your cold & flu. you give them a case of the giggles. tylenol cold helps relieve your worst cold & flu symptoms... you can give them everything you've got. tylenol automated voice: to file a claim, please state your name. carnie wilson. thank you. can you hold on? hold on for one more day really? hey, i know there's pain. why do you lock yourself up in these chains? this would be so easy if you had progressive.
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and help you find one of our service centers where we manage the entire repair process. things will go your way if you hold on. [ sighs ] someday somebody's gonna make you wanna turn around and say goodbye. say goodbye no, you just made it weird. uncle dan, what did you get us? for what? oh... you didn't get them anything, did you? yea. yea we did. yea we did. look how happy your nieces are with my gifts! bought a million things, probably spent a fortune. no! it's all old navy, they're having a huge sale this weekend, everything is half priced. guess what, that's where we're on our way to! you're welcome. thank you for everything... you're very welcome... for the presents we're going to get you, at old navy. old navy was my idea! you're looking at my presents! we have a plan to get it's gonna make your head explode! we'll do it online! we're gonnapgo get in line! we'll be thepfirst people
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back. before we continue i want to talk about some of the guests we have coming up next week, but before i do that, i want to welcome someone sitting in all week with the 8g band is norwegian black metal guitarist gorbon hausinfrud. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for sitting in, gorbon. >> praise you for having me in your kingdom, lord meyers. >> seth: okay, it's not a kingdom, and like i said before, you can just call me seth. [ laughter ] okay, well, anyway, thanks for being here. and so to talk about some of our upcoming guests.
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others -- [ sound of wind ] >> seth. >> seth: gorbon? >> can you hear me, seth? >> seth: yes? >> seth. >> seth: are you speaking to me telepathically? >> yes. >> seth: that's impossible. how can you do this? >> an ancient tribe of norse witches performed paganistic rituals where my soul transcended my earthly body and entered valhalla where odin himself taught me to free myself from the shackles of speech and gave me the power of mind to mind top mind communication. >> seth: that's amazing. >> seth, i have a question for you and it is very important. >> seth: well, what is it? >> seth. [ laughter ] what are you doing for christmas? >> seth: what? >> are you going to your parents' house or are you having people at your place? [ laughter ] >> seth: we're having people over. >> wow, that sounds stressful.
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all the cooking and cleaning. i just feel so much pressure to make sure that people having a good time. >> seth: yeah. >> that's why we're going to may wife rachel's parents' place just outside of dayton, ohio. it's okay, but, you know, it doesn't really feel like a real vacation. after three days, i'm just like, i want to sleep in my own bed. >> seth: i'm sorry, gorbon, but did you telepathically connect with me just to talk about your holiday plans? >> no, seth. [ laughter ] i have more to speak with you about. i have a warning for you seth. >> seth: oh my god, a warning. what is it? [ laughter ] >> seth, shipping your presents is so much easier than flying with them. that's what i'm doing this year. and it's such a load off my mind. >> seth: uh huh. >> because it's such a pain in the neck schlepping presents around the airport. that said, the drawback of shipping is getting a ton of freaking texts from you in-laws saying, "what are all these packages with your name on them?" [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, i guess that would be annoying. >> the other bummer is that you
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house, which means you have to ask for wrapping paper, which means rachel's mom gets involved and says, "let me do it. you guys are here to rest." and it's like, "no, please let me do it. i don't want to be a bother." [ laughter ] and then she takes it personally and then she thinks it's because don't like the way she wraps. [ laughter ] which, between me and you, is true. [ laughter ] and then she makes a comment about rachel's weight. and then rachel starts crying, and then -- >> seth: gorbon? do you have anything important to tell me? [ laughter ] >> yes, seth. [ laughter ] >> seth: what? >> here is my message. are you ready to receive it? >> seth: yes. >> seth. [ laughter ] >> don't ever get your kids a tablet for christmas. >> seth: tablet? >> yeah. last year we got my son aidan a microsoft surface pro, and i worry that it's impeding his communication skills. >> seth: you have kids? >> yes, aidan, 6, madison, 3. she is my angel. [ laughter ] and overall, i'm just worried
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because my wife is jewish, we celebrate both christmas and hanukkah so they get double the presents. and plus grammie and zaide spoil them, and that's a whole other can of worms. >> seth: uh huh. >> don't get me wrong, i love my kids. they are the light of my life. you never know true beauty until you hold your newborn child in your arms and look into their pure eyes. i'm sorry. i'm unexpectedly emotional. [ laughter ] >> seth: it's okay gorbon. real quick, what's the name of your band again? >> "blood cock." [ laughter ] >> seth: enough of that. just get out of my head. [ applause ] get out of my head. i've had enough of you. >> seth, seth, seth, who are you talking to? >> seth: i was talking to gorbon. wait, wait a second. he was just standing right there. >> gorbon? oh, he had to take a phone call. >> the packages are from me. no, they're gifts. just sign them! >> seth: we'll be right back with music from moon taxi.
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[ cheers and applause ] i absolutely love my new york apartment, but the rent is outrageous. good thing geico offers affordable renters insurance. with great coverage belongings stolen or destroyed. [doorbell] uh, excuse me. delivery. hey. lo mein, szechwan chicken, chopsticks, soy sauce and you got some fortune cookies. have a good one. ah, these small new york apartments... protect your belongings. let geico help you with renters insurance. let's watch this. no, this. how about this?
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yessssss. romance... ...and midnight romance the women's fragrances by ralph lauren. available at macy's.
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innovative sonicare technology with up to 27% more brush movements versus oral b. get healthier gums in 2 weeks guaranteed. innovation and you. philips sonicare save when you buy the most loved rechargeable toothbrush brand in america. grandma is so happy to be here for your very first christmas. i hear you' re quite the expert at waking people up in the morning. let me show you how grandma does it. your daddy made this when he was a little boy. this is your dad at my house,
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thanks for making the coffee. s up. i' re here mom. me too.
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[barks] are those... you there... stormtroopers! halt! turn here. go go! follow them! bb-8! beep, beep! this way! where'd they go? they went that way! that way, they went that way! i can't believe that worked! of course it worked!
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: tonight's musical guests are a critically acclaimed rock band from nashville, tennessee. performing "year zero", please welcome to the show, moon taxi.
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getting out while we can on the sand wash away with the tide right by my side we're on our own you and me together we will make it on and sing out forever someday someday out of the dark we go into the year zero oh oh oh oh oh oh into the year zero oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh pick me up when i'm down get my feet back
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holding on with our hands i need you here help me stand we're on our own you and me together we will make it on and sing out forever someday someday out of the dark we go someday someday into the year zero oh oh oh oh oh oh into the year zero oh oh oh oh oh oh we'll do it on our own m oh oh oh
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oh oh oh someday someday out of the dark we go someday someday into the year zero oh oh oh into the year zero oh oh oh oh oh oh we'll do it on our own oh oh oh
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oh oh oh oh oh own oh oh oh oh oh own oh oh oh oh oh own [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: moon taxi! the album, "daybreaker", is out now! we'll be right back!
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